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Your marriage in the Church of England
Thinking about a church wedding?
Congratulations, we wish you well as you begin your journey into married life.
In this section you will find a number of resources that will help you with planning your special day. These include:
- a list of Frequently Asked Questions
- a guide to help you plan the music and readings
- details of what to expect from the actual ceremony.
If you have any queries that you would like to discuss further please contact your parish priest, alternatively you may visit www.newlyweds-uk.com/blog/jan_Harvey, where 'virtual vicar' Revd Jan Harney answers questions about church weddings and married life.
A book that may help you in preparing for both the big day and your future together is available from Church House Publishing: 'Growing Together? A guide for couples getting married'
Read our frequently asked questions to find out more:
Click here for a printable version of all questions and answers
Q/ What do Christians believe about marriage?
Q/ I'm not baptised. I don't go to church. Can I still get married in church?
Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?
Q/ I heard that you can get married in any church you want to now. Is this true?
Q/ We've decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
Q/ I'm divorced. Can I still get married in church?
Q/ I'm Church of England and he's a Catholic. Does that matter?
Q/ Why do we need marriage preparation?
Q/ What are the legal requirements?
Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?
Q/ Should we have one or two rings?
Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?
Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?
Q/ What about flowers in church?
Q/ What happens if one of us lives abroad?
Q/ What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
Q/ What is the Marriage Measure?
Q/ What do Christians believe about marriage?
A/ Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God. In the marriage ceremony, a couple make a public declaration of lifelong commitment to love each other, come what may.
A/ Everyone lives in a parish and belongs to a parish church. That’s the church you should contact for more information about getting married. However, from October 1st 2008 you can also marry in a church that has special significance for you as well as your parish church. An example might be the parish where one of you grew up in or where a parent of one of you lives.
If you want to know more about the type of churches you can now marry in, you may find further information here.
To find out which parish you are in click here.
Q/ I’m not baptised. I don’t go to church. Can I still get married in church?
A/ Yes! Normally the parish priest will want to get to know you a bit and might ask you to some preparation meetings or church services before you get married.
A/ Get in touch with your local parish priest or the preist of your special church.
He or she will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans.
Q/ What if I want to be married in a different church?
A/ If you are a regular worshipper in that church, it is usually possible to be married there. Just speak to your minister.
If you are not a regular worshipper why not start attending? You will normally be expected to attend services for some time before becoming eligible to be married there.
If you have a good reason for wanting to marry in another church that is not allowed for in the new legislation, talk to the minister of that church. You can apply for a Special Licence if the minister agrees. To apply or find out more contact The Faculty Office, 1 The Sanctuary, Westminster, London SW1P 3JT tel: 020 7222 5381
Q/ We’ve decided to get married abroad but we would like a church blessing. Is that possible?
A/ There is no reason why you shouldn’t do this, provided your vicar is happy. There is a service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony and this can be adapted. There are no legal requirements or set fees.
Q/ I’m divorced. Can I still get married in church?
The Church of England believes that marriage is for life. But it recognises that sadly, some marriages do fail. In exceptional circumstances, the Church accepts that a divorced person may marry again.
Speak to your parish priest. He or she will want to talk to you frankly about your past and your hopes for the future. Even if it is not possible to do your wedding, they may be willing to offer you service of prayer and dedication after a civil ceremony.
Read the Church's view of Marriage in church after divorce or download the accompanying leaflet and application form, is available or can be ordered from Church House Bookshop, tel: 020 7898 1300
Q/ I’m Church of England and he’s a Catholic. Does that matter?
A/ People of all denominations have a right to be married in their parish church (provided they have not been married before). So it doesn’t matter from the Church of England’s perspective.
Q/ Why do we need marriage preparation?
You have probably invested a lot of time planning your wedding. The day is important but your marriage should last for the rest of your life. However much you think you know each other, you are still two separate individuals with different backgrounds, personalities, experiences, hopes and fears. Churches often offer an opportunity to talk through these issues, sometimes as a group with other couples.
Q/ What are the legal requirements?
A/ Unless you are getting married by Common or Special licence the normal way is to have your bannsread out in church on theree Sundays during the three months before your wedding. You would be most welcome to join the church community for the service and to hear them read. The banns must be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as the church in which you are to be married if that is in another parish.
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are circumstances where some form of licence, such as a common licence or special licence, is more appropriate. Your priest or minister will discuss with you what you need to do.
There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced (See question above).
Q/ How much will it cost?
A/ The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, the marriage service and a certificate of marriage. These fees are fixed centrally and are currently approximately £240. You can see a breakdown of these, and other fees, here.
These fees do not cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir, organist, bell-ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on. Check with your parish priest.
Q/ Can we be involved in planning the service?
A/ Yes. You can choose to have a modern language service or one in more traditional language including the Book of Common Prayer service.
For some ideas about hymns and readings, click here.
Q/ Should we have one or two rings?
A/ A wedding ring is a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, and of the commitment you are making to each other. It is entirely up to you whether you have one ring or two.
Q/ Can I marry in any other colour than white?
A/ Yes
Q/ Can we have a video recording of the service?
A/ You will need to ask permission from the parish priest and there may be a fee. Permission is not required to record the authorised words of the service but bear in mind there may be copyright issues if you're recording a person's performance (eg a professional organist) or using copyright hymns or readings.
Further information is available at http://ww.cofe.anglican.org/worship/downloads/litcopy.rtf under Video and Audio Recordings
A/ The minister taking your service will probably want to meet you and the other people taking part in the service before the wedding, in the church, to talk to you all about what to expect.
Q/ What about flowers in church?
A/ Many churches can do these for you at a reasonable charge and the flower arranger will be happy to discuss what you want. You can also do your own or engage your own florist.
A /Although you have the right to get married in a church, the time of the service is decided by negotiation with your minister. It must be between 8am and 6pm and not clash with other services. Therefore you could get married on a Sunday provided it was not at a time of the normal Sunday services and the minister was willing to do it.
Q/ What happens if one of us lives abroad?
A/ Marriage by Common Licence can take place on the basis of one of the couple living in the parish or regularly attending the church without any action being necessary where the other party lives. Your vicar will know how to apply for a Common Licence (see below if it is a particular country). However, because most clergy or churches like to offer marriage preparation, they like to see you both.
Q/ What happens if one of us is a foreign national?
A/ If one is a national of a country outside Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, the EU or USA The Church has a responsibility to conduct marriages which will be recognised in the country the bride or groom comes from. This is done for the couple’s benefit not just for bureaucracy. Therefore, the Faculty Office strongly recommends that these marriages should be done by Common Licence rather than banns and some dioceses ask the person to obtain from the relevant embassy or consulate a letter saying their marriage will be recognised.
A/ The Church offers a service of Thanksgiving of Marriage, which may be used for a number of different occasions including:
- renewing marriage vows
- to celebrate a special anniversary
- after a period of separation or difficulty in marriage.
The service may be held in a church or another location, such as the home (you will need to speak to you parish priest about the exact details). You may also wish to combine the renewing of vows with a service of Holy Communion.
There are no legal requirements or set fees.
The Thanksgiving of Marriage service as found in Common Worship is available to view at http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/downloads/rtf/thnks_mg.rtf
The new measure, which comes into force on the 1st October 2008, provides for a couple to have the same right to marry, without an Archbishop's Special Licence, in the parish church of a parish with which one or both of them can show that he or she has a 'qualifying connection'. For more questions and answers about the Marriage Measure see.
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