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Martin Ankers

Martin Ankers died peacefully in July 2006, aged 32, after a four-year fight against cancer. This article was originally published in the Diocese of Portsmouth's monthly magazine, and remains here as a testament to Martin's strength of faith - which meant he could face death peacefully and with an assurance about his future.

Martin Ankers had to think about his own mortality when he was told he had cancer in both his liver and lungs. It was the second time he had been diagnosed with the disease, and he was told that this time it was probably terminal.

At best, he would undergo intensive chemotherapy to reduce the size of the tumours, followed by two complex operations to remove the cancerous cells. Even then, there would be a one in three chance of the cancer returning.

But his faith was strong enough for him to contemplate death as the chance to be united with his Saviour, and his illness as part of God's ultimate plan. It gave him a peace and a reassurance about the future that could only be described as supernatural.

"I accepted the cancer diagnosis so calmly because I thought: 'I must have this for a purpose'," he said. "A verse like 'in all things God works for the good of those who love him' kept coming to mind.

"It turned out that several churches and scores of friends had been praying for me. I only felt scared once, and that was when I was asking for prayer for a 'shopping list' of items to do with the operation practicalities. I was anointed with oil and realised that I should be praying for peace. I handed over my fear to God and genuinely felt a peace that passed understanding.

"Despite a difficult operation in which I lost six pints of blood, I awoke to find a temporary ileostomy bag fitted rather than a permanent one. I was out of intensive care in three days, out of bed in four days and out of hospital in 10 days. The pathology labs found the local tumour had been very aggressive, but had been fully removed.

Later, to my surprise, I actually found myself writing a thank-you prayer to God for my cancer - how else would I have been able to understand and pray for the complexity of emotions bouncing around the heads of others diagnosed with cancer?"

Martin was able to accept both his epilepsy and his cancer as part of God's plan for his life. He was pleased that his mum and dad had started going to church and that they were impressed with the number of people praying and caring for him. But when a routine scan revealed secondary cancer in his liver and lungs, it was harder to take.

"It was two days before I was due to exchange contracts to buy my first house," he said. "I didn't feel angry with God, but I did feel frustrated. There have been some undulations in my faith journey since then - spells of feeling close to God and feeling spiritually dry. But that's normal for many people."

Martin has a website - http://www.martinsprogress.f2s.com/ - to explain the illness and treatment from a patient's perspective, and to deal with issues of faith. Recently, Martin has stopped receiving chemotherapy treatment and is now essentially only receiving palliative care.

"What has helped me most is the Bible - verses leapt out of the page at me that I'd hardly noticed before - good Christian books, worship, the practical care of friends and family and the realisation that Jesus suffered pain and was scared of dying in Gethsemane.

"I've been able to talk to people about my faith and about death, which suggests that I may have this for a reason. After all, if Christians automatically had easy lives, how could we appreciate and pray for the pain that others go through?"

Reproduced courtesy of the Diocese of Portsmouth